First young woman, offering the other a bag: Want some?
Second young woman, taking bag, examining package: What is it? Is there gluten in this?
First: It’s just a snack mix, think it’s made with chickpea flour and spices…
Second: The ingredients are… super vague…
First: Yeah, I brought it back from my last trip… I don’t know how regulated anything there is…
Second: So there’s no food and drug administration type deal?
First: Honestly, if there is, I seriously doubt it would actually monitor anything… or enforce any regulations. I’m pretty sure the phrase “rampant corruption” was first used to describe their government…
Second: So what if you have, like, a peanut allergy? How do you decide what to eat…?
First: I think you take calculated risks? And if you eat something with peanuts… I think you just… Die.
Is your thing tomorrow?
Whoa I was about to text you
No, I actually decided to take it next month.
Was going to see if you wanted to chat tomorrow.
Our sparkling unicorn heart strings are connected
We are one unicorn!
Sure- eveningish cool? I am going to have to chug some crazy coffee and try to finish a paper during the brain-functional day hours
Yea-just have an interview Thursday morning
Need practice talking to humans. And I miss you. Duh.
Haha that’s exciting!
Awww, my unicorn heart tingles
My regular heart can’t bc it’s black and cold obviously
Mine too! Yay unicorn black hearts club!!
I swear we are someone’s acid trip
This is awesome…
Happy VD, TR.
Happy Valentine’s to you to.
also *too (who am I??)
This can’t be the right Anna!
ugh, I’ll blame the sunshine
It’s all so confusing this weather
You and your husband have big plans?
Not that I know of.
no plans are also cool
honestly, you could make every day valentine’s day if you wanted
Live every week like it’s shark week?
Yes! Shark Week and Valentine’s Day are basically the same. #wisdom
Both involve red…
and… intense emotions?
Fleeing for your life?
Yes to all. We have scientifically proven that Shark Week and Valentines Day are exactly the same. Congratulations to us, research partner!
Can we collectively stop describing things as “cute”? I mean, we are able-but I really think we ought to… Right? Who’s with me? I can give you one good reason-but I’ll give you more than that, I’ll give you three.
Why the word “cute”? I read post recently about the most overused adjectives in viral news headlines, and while it was dead on, it didn’t mention the fact those same adjectives are the ones we’re overusing in our own lexicon. I do it too-I wish I had a dollar every time I said “awesome” but I don’t and so I’m still poor. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to stop, that I don’t want to shake the habit (not to make light of actual real, and crippling habits).
Why not awesome? Or whatever? Well, dear friend, let’s get rid of those too. I’ll try to rid my vernacular of those words as well, okay? But I feel like “cute” is an easy place to start changing the way we talk to each other (and quite honestly the reasons for not using it are applicable to the other words). And when I say “talk to each other” and “vernacular,” I am being very particular. We don’t seem to have a problem with not working “cute/awesome/fetch” into every sentence of emails and articles; it’s the instant messages, texts and general in-person banter that seem to suffer…
First, reason to stop using it: WE HAVE REDERED IT COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS. We just use it as some sort of catch-all positive affirmation.
“How do I look?”
“Toni got THE CUTEST KITTEN!!”
“That new guy in IT is soooooooo cute!”
We describe everything from women’s evening attire and co-workers to small mammals as cute (and in a completely hyper-exaggerated way, no less). Do we even remember what cute really means?
Cute: 1.Delightfully pretty or dainty; 2.obviously contrived to charm; precious; 3.Shrewd; clever.
I feel like Toni’s kitten is the only one that really fits any (or all, cats are wicked smart) of these definitions. And let’s be honest, 50% of us don’t remember that last definition, and the other half just didn’t know.
Second, if you do remember the actual definition of “cute,” then describing me and my habits/clothes/etc. as such, is flat out patronizing. As a recent email from my favorite burrito establishment kindly reminded me, I am half a year away from turning 32 (thanks for the free burrito, Freebirds!), and that means I’m a little past wanting to look cute. I want my attire to be described as professional, well kempt, attractive, or if it’s the truth, slovenly (real friends will give you a head’s up). I don’t wear bows, pigtails (except that one time, but never again because pigtails on ladies is a source of lots of unwanted attention), and Mary Janes because I’m a lady, God damn it, so describe me as such. Capisce?
Lastly -THERE ARE BETTER, MORE PRECISE WORDS OUT THERE, AND THEY ARE SO MUCH MORE SATISFYING TO USE.
Here are some delightful options: DARLING, PREPOSESSING, WINNING, CHARMING, FETCHING, CUNNING (for that 3rd definition), or PLEASING? And if you don’t want it to end in “ING,” how about AMBROSIAL AND KEEN??
Look, I’m sure I’m hyperbolizing what is essentially just a mild irritant in my life and I, admittedly, like words more than a lot of people I know. I like to be clear and understood, and generally feel that using specific words are the way to achieve this. And while there are so many other things that are more important in the world, this seems like something we can easily address, no? We can do better can’t we?
Pretty much everything you need to know about how Russia handles major world events is in this sentence…
“The disarray seems to contradict repeated promises from both Russian and Olympic officials that Sochi is ready for the games, despite terrorist threats, unfinished construction and concerns over human rights abuses in the country.”
For more hilarity, read this…